And Baby Makes Two?
by Diggingupophelia
Summary: Harry and Draco find themselves the victim of a curse that makes them pregnant. HrH, DG. COMPLETE MPREG, LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITATIONS SUGGESTED.
1. Parts One, Two, and Three

And Baby Makes Two?

The First Day of Class: Part One, The Hex

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking down to the dungeons for their 'favorite class' of the day, Double Potions. The Trio knew that Snape was in rather unpleasant mood today since Peeves had decided to empty the contents of a pitcher of pumpkin juice on his head during lunch to "wash away the grease." Of course Snape glared at Harry, as if anyone could control that poltergeist except the Bloody Barron and he was on holiday with the Gray Lady, yes, even ghosts need a break from Hogwarts. Since the three were in hurry to get to Potions on time they were running through the corridors of the school and not particularly paying attention to where they were going, as a result Harry slammed directly into Draco Malfoy, sending him flying to the floor with the contents of his bag spilling out all over the corridor floors.

"Don't you think you, your Mudblood and your Mudblood loving friend should watch where you're going?" He sneered. "There are IMPORTANT people running about these corridors I'll have you know!" He said as he straightened his robes and used his wand to remove his things from the floor and return them to his bag.

"Well I'm glad we didn't knock any of those IMPORTANT people over then," retorted Harry, "and besides you should watch where you're going it is not as if you own the castle Draco."

"Potter, it is time you learned to respect those who are better than you." Draco said as he aimed his wand at Harry . Harry was searching for his wand in his robes, but by the time he got them out and aimed them at Draco, Draco had already cast the hex, "Malefacio Ingavesco!" A lavender light shot out of Draco's wand and hit Harry in the abdomen. Harry noticed a slight tingling sensation, but not much else. He reasoned that Draco was just an idiot and messed up the spell, as usual.

"You hexed me with a purple light? Wasn't that spell a bit nancy for you Draco?"

Draco just smirked and as he walked away called over his shoulder, "You have no idea Potter…see you in Potions."

"What the bloody hell is that prat's problem?" Asked Ron to on one in particular, "First he acts all narky and then he shoots Harry with a lavender spell?" he laughed to him self, "He has finally made the leap from a bit off to totally nutters!"

"Ron!" scolded Hermione "and you too Harry, just because a hex is a bit pastel doesn't mean that it isn't powerful…who knows what he did to you…maliefacio ingavesco…I can honestly say I have no idea what the spell is…honestly we should have to take Latin so we know what the hell we're saying…well Harry you should go and see Madame Pomfrey straight away to make sure you're insides aren't liquefying as we speak!"

Harry just kissed her on top of the forehead, "You are so cute when you get all worried about me. I feel fine, honestly he messed up the hex. If it had worked I would be passed out on the ground with pigs flying out of my arse or something," he chuckled, the image was kind of funny, even he had to admit.

Three Weeks Later

Hermione made her way up to the boy's dormitory carrying a box of soda crackers and a potion that Madame Pomfrey had given her to alleviate nausea. Hermione opened to door and was glad that she found the dormitory empty, she made her way over to the loo where she found Harry leaning up against the wall with a hand towel over his mouth.

"Harry you had better go and see Madame Pomfrey, you have been like this for the past two weeks and no one else is getting sick which means…"

Harry did not want to hear what she had to say, "That damned hex was a flop, I don't know of any hexes that take a week to work!" he had to stop talking because he felt the sudden urge to empty his stomach into the toilet, when he was done he sat back with his eyes closed clutching the hand towel to his mouth. Hermione could hardly hear is muffled request coming from behind the towel, "Did you bring soda crackers?"

"Yes, I did and a potion…it should help" Harry took the crackers and the potion from Hermione and ingested them slowly, he was determined to not have another meeting with the porcelain gods on that day.

"Are you feeling better then?" asked Hermione from the doorway as she gathered up Harry's school things so he could go to class.

Harry only nodded, he was afraid that if he opened his mouth he would vomit again.

"Right. Well I am going off to the library to do some research" Hermione didn't say about what because she knew it could only serve to upset Harry and she didn't have to feel like dealing with that right now, she had a pretty good idea about what was going on, but she was going to make Harry figure it out for himself…then she could say as many 'I told you so's as she wanted!

As she made her way out of the boys' dormitory Harry called after her, "You're the best Hermione you know that?" She didn't say anything, she just walked out of the door and made her way to the library to do research…one of the perks of being Head Girl, she could miss class for something like this and no one would suspect a thing.

The Next Day: Part Two, The Realization

Harry was studying in the common room in front of the fire. For the first time in the past two weeks he didn't feel like throwing up every five seconds. He still felt strange, but didn't want to admit that a dainty purple hex had knocked him off his game, he kept on hearing Hermione's voice in his head, "It isn't the color of the spell it's what it does, honestly you two can be so thick sometimes…." Harry knew she was right, but he didn't want to have to admit it. He also knew he should go and see Madame Pomfrey, but he wasn't up to being poked and prodded at, by her at this particular moment; he really just wanted to get this stupid extra credit project for Defense Against the Dark Arts done, he was so thankful that Hermione had brought the project to his attention since his grades had been slipping due to his illness.

Hermione had even pulled all the books that he would need to do the project, she was so incredibly sweet he thought as he pulled one of the old and dusty tomes from the top of the stack and opened it up to the page marked by the torn piece of parchment. Harry's eyes grew wide; he couldn't believe the words that were written on the page. This was absolutely impossible he thought;

Malefacio Ingavesco:

This spell is used to render an opponent unable to fight for nine months, due to pregnancy. This hex is very useful before a schedule professional duel, as it will give you time to better prepare, the better part of a year to be exact. The spell was developed for use on a female, but can be used on a male opponent as well. The pregnancy caused by this spell will be the worst sort of pregnancy with morning sickness throughout and a long painful labor and delivery. The baby will be the child of the one who is hexed and the person they love dearest in essence only. In reality the child will be a clone of the one carrying the child in every way. The counter curse is

Harry started to shout, "The counter curse is what…some ignoramus ripped out the page…what am I going to do?" Harry felt a surge of emotion hit him unlike anything he had ever experienced before…all of a sudden he was hunched over the book crying uncontrollably. "There has to be something I can do…I mean if I defeated Voldemort over the summer, then there has to be some way that I can overcome this…" again he was wracked by another fit of sobs over the fact that he had won the final battle in the summer following his sixth year…just when he thought his life would be normal. Harry managed to stop crying in a few minutes and then sat up, he put his hand over his abdomen, he couldn't really feel anything different, but this realization did explain a few things…quite a few actually, especially the small breasts he was beginning to develop. Initially he thought that they might be the curse…but that didn't seem bad enough, then he assumed the vomiting seventeen times a day was the rest of the curse. He was sure of it, but he never would have guessed this in a billion and half years. There was no way he was going to be able to continue his seventh year as the Boy-Who-Gave-Birth…he quickly did the math in his head, the baby would be born June. Then he gave a gasp as he realized he was going to have to give birth. "How is that one supposed to work? I don't exactly come equipped with all the necessary bits for that to work out," he said to himself, but then Hermione answered. She had been waiting in the corner of the common room for him to pick up that book and read it.

"Well, I guess you'll have to take polyjuice potion so that you acquire the necessary parts, or maybe the spell will allow you to develop them, I'm not all together sure about that. We'll have to ask the teachers since all of the spell books only say what the spell does and tells how to perform it. I've checked the entire library and there isn't a word written anywhere about how to reverse the spell…." she said it as compassionately as she could, but her words were laced with a tone that screamed out 'I told you so!'

Later the Same Day: Hospital Wing

Hermione dragged Harry up to the Hospital Wing. She only managed to convince him by telling him something about the twenty eight million birth defects she had read about in the course of her research, she lied a little and told him the only way to combat all of them was to have a run over by Madame Pomfrey. Harry was not looking forward to explaining this one, but he hoped that she would have a cure for this…but then the more he thought about it he realized that this was a life growing inside of him, it was a chance for him to make up for the life he took from Voldemort. It didn't matter to him that the man was evil; he hated the idea of having to take someone's life away. But then he just wanted his normal life "Maybe I could convince Hermione to have the baby transplanted into her body," he thought, just for a second.

Madame Pomfrey was not shocked to see the Golden Couple of Hogwarts walking into the Hospital Wing. She had been brewing up anti-nausea potion now for almost a month, she was waiting for Hermione to realize that she was pregnant; needless to say she was more than overcome by shock when she heard the truth.

After the shock had worn off a bit Madam Pomfrey was able to grasp the severity of the situation. "What hex was it that you said produced Mr. Potter's condition, Ms Granger?"

"Well I don't want to say it around him, might make the births multiply for all I know. Here I've written down everything I could find about the hex, even the things from the restricted section."

Madame Pomfrey read everything that Hermione had written down. "Ms. Granger, you haven't included the counter hexes in your research."

"That's just it Madame Pomfrey, someone has gone through all of the books and removed the counter hex. Is there anyway to find out what the counter curse is?"

"Well there is only one person who would know the answer to that…but before we get ahead of ourselves, we need to assess Mr. Potter's condition, if there is a counter curse I need to make sure he can handle it."

Harry disappeared with Madame Pomfrey behind the curtain that provided privacy to an area that housed some pretty scary equipment, the likes of which Harry had never seen before. After a few minutes, Madame Pomfrey came out from behind the curtain with a bewildered look upon her face, "I don't know how in blazes I am supposed to examine him!" She tried to put the next part delicately. "The curse put the baby in there all right, but there isn't anyway for me to check it the way I normally would, if you know what I mean."

Hermione's face was a tinted a very mild shade of red, "Of course, maybe we should get Professor McGonagall or Professor Dumbledore?" she asked

"You stay with Mr. Potter and I'll go and find Minerva and Albus," and with that she left the room. Hermione made her way behind the white curtain and saw quite a hysterical sight. She had to bite her bottom lip in order not to laugh. Harry was sitting up on a hospital bed with a horrified look on his face. "Hermione do you know what that woman did to me? She she tried to…oh it is so horrible I can't even say what she tried to do! I don't know how women do it honestly, I have never felt so violated in my entire life."

"I'll tell you the same thing my mum told me, grin and bear it, love." Hermione was about to talk offer him some more words of advice, but she was interrupted by the return of Madame Pomfrey accompanied by Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore.

Part Three, No Cure

Dumbledore stood at the foot of Harry's bed, which made Harry slightly uncomfortable, after all he was naked underneath that sheet and with every hand motion Dumbledore made as he spoke he came closer and closer to pulling the sheet straight off the bed…it was bad enough being The-Boy-Who-Lived and pregnant at the same time, he didn't need to be naked in front of a room full of people to top it all off. Harry was so preoccupied with trying to keep the thin sheet on his body that he forgot to pay attention to what was going on around him, he only finally realized that something important was going on when he heard Dumbledore, "Is that going to work for you, Harry?", the headmaster was looking over his half moon spectacles at Harry. Harry also noticed that the three women who were in the room with him were just staring at him waiting for a response. Harry just tugged at the sheet and drew his knees to his chest, "I am sorry Professor. I didn't hear what you said."

A very befuddled Hermione sighed, "Honestly, Harry!" she walked up to the side of the bad and sat down next to Harry, then she turned to Dumbledore silently asking for permission to explain everything to Harry, he nodded and then took a seat on a chair he conjured with a slight swish of his wand. " Harry, what Professor Dumbledore said was that there is no way to know what the counter curse is…the only books that are know to exist that contain that information were in the Hogwarts library," she paused and grabbed Harry's hand. "There is no way to undo this curse, you are just going to have to wait it out and have to have the baby."

Harry's eyes grew very wide, he was certainly not up to another eight months of being ogled over by Madame Pomfrey…having his privates exposed so she could see if "there was a window available for the little Potter." The only little Potter he knew of was certainly too small to allow access either in or OUT for something of that size… "I can't have a baby, how in the bloody hell is it supposed to come out?"

"Well Harry," began McGonagall, "We thought of the Muggle C-Section, but it is too risky to do in the school and we can't send you to St. Mungo's they'll do all sorts of experiments. So I'll just have to figure out a way to transfigure…erm…well you know." A slight blush actually spread out across her cheeks.

Harry sat back silently in the bed and just thought to himself, "This is bloody embarrassing, the pain wasn't so frightening now that he knew that the baby wouldn't have to create its own way to get out…but bloody hell did McGonagall have to see him in the nude? And what is this about no bloody counter curse? I am going to kill Draco Malfoy…or better yet, I am going to do the same thing to him."

It was as if Professor McGonagall was reading his thoughts, "And do not…Mr. Potter, get any ideas to put Malfoy in the same condition in which you find yourself! Especially after I tell you this last bit of news…no Quidditch for the entire school year!"

"But…" he started to protest, but he saw the stern looks coming from the three women and a shrug of concession from Dumbledore and he knew that was the last that would be said on that subject.


	2. Parts Four and Five

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just play with them and return them relatively unharmed!

A/N: Thanks for all of your reviews. I will be trying to post this one more regularly. This is a completed work, with a sequel in progress. I am editing and then posting to I really enjoyed writing this piece. Keep in mind that these characters are put in a very odd situation, I tried to keep them in character as much as I could, but it was difficult. I hope you reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

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Part Four: The First Transfiguration

One Week Later

Harry had to be escorted by Hermione to the Hospital Wing twice a week because he would not go of his own free will. This time the visit was going to be humiliating, but he knew it was necessary. He walked in and saw Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall. This is what he was dreading. Harry couldn't even look either of them in the eye, he was too humiliated, he just walked behind the curtain and tried to protect his modesty the best he could, but it was all in vein. Hermione waited on the outside of the privacy curtain as Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall disappeared behind the curtain. Harry sat on that hospital bed with the sheet firmly clamped around his legs and his arms drawn firmly across his chest staring straight ahead at Professor McGonagall in utter defiance. After some serious thought he had decided that she was not going to transfigure his penis into anything except a bigger penis. That was the final word; or so he thought.

"No way! What if you can't change it back," screamed Harry from the other side of the curtain. Hermione had to put her hand in front of her mouth to stifle the laugh that was dying to escape.

"Mr. Potter, let me assure you that I have not made completed a transfiguration that I couldn't reverse since my days as a student at Hogwarts! Now just let me do this so Poppy can do her job and we can set you right before you leave today."

"I said no!"

"Mr. Potter, this is not up for discussion."

"Professor I have read about people making a mistake with that kind of transfiguration and I don't want to have to live with your mistake!"

"I assure you I won't make a mistake. Now lie back and relax, so that you can get on with your day, and I can get on with mine!"

Hermione didn't hear any more complaints from Harry, although she did not know that the reason for this was because Professor McGonagall used a sedating spell on him, and in a few seconds Professor McGonagall emerged from behind the curtain and walked up to Hermione and offered a rare grin. "I will never understand the attachment men have to that particular part," then she blushed after she realized to whom she was talking.

Hermione too blushed and didn't know quite how to respond to that, so she changed the subject, "Professor, what has happened to Draco?"

"Well Professor Snape has decided that nine months worth of scrubbing the lavatories in the school with out the use of magic is sufficient punishment for his transgression," her tone indicated that she disagreed entirely, but she had decided to let Snape punish Draco.

"Oh well," she paused once again changing the subject. "So, is there anyway that I could carry the baby for Harry professor? I know we talked about it but we haven't been able to get an answer."

"Well, Ms. Granger, there is a way for you to carry the baby," there was a glimmer of hope in Hermione's eye, but then the negative word popped up in the sentence, "unfortunately the transfer has to take place with in 72 hours of conception, and we are past that window of opportunity." Hermione's face fell; she was crushed that she couldn't help Harry out of this situation.

Poppy then flew out from behind the curtain, "Minerva, you had better get back in there before that spell wears off, or he is going to be none to pleased with either one of us."

Professor McGonagall transfigured Harry back to his normal self and then lifted the sedation curse. Harry sat up and looked at her like nothing happened. Professor McGonagall just looked at him and said, "You can go Potter!" Harry muttered under his breath, "I told you that I wasn't going to let you do it." All three women in the room decided to let him believe this little fantasy.

Harry and Hermione walked back to Gryffindor Tower hand in hand. Hermione was trying to figure out a way to tell Harry he was going to have to carry this baby to term and give birth. He had gotten his hopes up and now she was going to have to dash them.

"Harry," Hermione said as sweetly as she could.

"Yes, love?"

"I have some news that I am afraid you aren't going to like."

" I already know," tears began to well up in Harry's eyes, "you think that I am fat and disgusting! I'm not even showing yet and you want me to sod off!"

Hermione quickly put her arm around Harry and pulled him close to her, "Don't be ridiculous Harry, I don't think any such thing. You are as handsome as you always were." Then she kissed his cheek.

He smiled through his tears, "Really? You mean it? You still find me attractive?"

"Of course I do," she held him tighter, " all I was going to tell you was that you are going to have to carry the baby to term. There is no way I can have the baby transplanted into my body."

" That is ok, love," he paused wiping a stray tear from his cheek, "you'll just have to pamper me instead," he joked. Then he felt anger well up in his chest. Harry was more than irritated with the situation; if he didn't know any better he would have guessed he was scared. He turned to Hermione. "C'mon then, let's go to the kitchens I have a wicked craving for steak and kidney pie with treacle tart as a kind of topping."

Hermione choked back a gag and followed Harry off to the kitchens, but she could tell his mind was wandering.

Part Five: Harry's Revenge

The Next Day: At Slytherin Quidditch Practice

Harry and Ron were hiding behind a patch of bushes that Ron had conjured and were beneath Harry's Invisibility Cloak, waiting for Draco.

"Ron, you need to be quiet! If they catch us they'll thing we're spying and then Snape will be more than happy to allow us to help Draco scrub all those toilets!"

"Sorry, Harry, I can't help it if the chocolate wrapper is made out of foil and crinkles."

"Really, Ron that smells atrocious, do you have to eat that, as a matter of fact how can you eat that?"

"Easy Harry, it is Honeyduke's finest chocolate," he said shoving a piece in Harry's face. "Have a piece?"

Harry shook his head while claming his mouth shut. Harry had to turn around and plug his nose and muster all of his strength to keep himself from retching, surely that noise would call attention to the two of them. They had to keep quiet and wait for Draco to walk past them on his way to the locker room. Slytherin practice was really long and incredibly dull in Harry's opinion. Draco was slower than ever on his broom not even bothering to practice catching the snitch, he just let it fly in front of his face and then he would push it away with the back of his hand. Draco finally dismounted his broom and decided to leave the pitch before everyone else.

"Harry, Harry, he's coming!"

Harry quickly pulled his wand from his robes and pointed it right at Draco he whispered the incantation, "Malefacio Ingavesco!"

Draco saw the lavender light come from behind a bush he didn't quite remember being there and wasn't fast enough. He knew he was hit with the hex he spent so much time learning, and he was an idiot and had destroyed the only known evidence of the counter hex in order to ensure that Potter wouldn't be able to play Quidditch the entire year, and now he knew Potter wasn't the only one who was going to suffer.

Harry wanted to laugh. The look on Draco's face was priceless; the only thing he could think was funnier was Draco explaining his predicament to his father. Ron had to clamp his hand over Harry's mouth for a good two minutes while he remembered the words to a silencing charm. Then they both laughed hard enough to send tears down ruby red faces.

"That was bloody brilliant Harry! The look on his face! Colin should have been here with his camera," he said in between fits of laughter.

Draco stood outside the changing room for a moment. He wanted to catch Potter, and hex him into the next millennium. He reached his hand in front of him to try and grasp at the Invisibility Cloak he was sure that Harry owned, but came within an inch of the cloak and fainted.

"Wow! Harry, it looks like your spell was more powerful than his, he's already fainted. He'll be puking his guts out by dinner! Awesome!"

Harry and Ron got up and started walking towards the castle when the felt the cloak being pulled off of them by a seemingly invisible force: It was Professor McGonagall.

"Misters Potter and Weasley. I am ashamed. 150 points from Gryffindor!" Both boys were going to say something to protest, but then they remembered an incident with a dragon egg and didn't want to risk losing 150 points each. "Mr. Potter, what did I tell you about that hex and Mr. Malfoy?"

Harry decided that if this pregnancy was going to do anything for him, it was going to get him out of trouble at the very least, so Harry let the flood gates open and he started to cry as hard as he could, "P..Professor McGonagall,…I am so … sorry I don't know what came over me, I just had this burst of energy and it was the first spell that came to mind. I guess these hormones are just making me do crazy things!"

Professor McGonagall wasn't quite sure what to say, but she couldn't very well punish him, he was already going to have to suffer through so much. "I think the deduction from your house is punishment enough, just this once." She looked Harry right in the eye. "Now go straight to your common room and see Ms. Granger about keeping your magic in check."

Harry and Ron didn't say a word until they were standing outside of the portrait of the Fat Lady. "That was bloody brilliant Harry. I didn't know you could cry like that!"

Harry just rolled his eyes and made his way into the common room to celebrate his sweet victory. Of course, he had to figure out a way to tell Hermione what he had done that would ensure she would still be on speaking terms with him by the end of the conversation. But he would cross that bridge when he got to it.

A/N Sorry it is short, but I am a little stuck with the next part, which is going to deal with Draco a little bit more. I am going to try to have it up in a couple of days. So Review this chapter please! Oh and I am sorry if you are an Anonomys reviewer, I can't get the settings to change so that you can review. I understand how to disable it, but for some reason the changes won't save. So if you feel really compelled to leave me a review and you can't because of my inability to fix the glitch you can e mail me at: 


	3. Parts Six and Seven

A/N: Thanks again for your many reviews! I am glad you all like the story. I am trying to make it longer, but I don't want to over do it. So I want you guys to tell me what you want to see more of and if it fits in with what I have in mind I will add it in. I hope you enjoy this next installment because I had fun writing it.

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Part Six: Dealing With Hermione

Hermione had noticed the portrait hole opening on its own and then felt the familiar presence of two certain best friends who had a pension for getting into trouble, and lots of it. Since she was head girl she already knew that Gryffindor had lost 150 points, causing Slytherin to have a slight lead in the house cup – and she knew exactly who was responsible for that. Hermione walked over the couch that was directly in front of the fire and stood in front of it.

"You two do realize that the cloak does not make the indentations from your arse invisible, don't you?"

_Bang to the rights_ Harry thought to himself as he sheepishly lowered the invisibility cloak from both himself and Ron. They both plastered the same goofy grin and sad eyes on their faces.

Hermione crossed her arms across her chest trying to look very stern, "What did you two do? 150 points from Gryffindor! I swear can't the two of you spend this last year with out getting into trouble!"

"Well you see Hermione," started Ron, "we just went out to the Quidditch Pitch to relax. Classes are rather difficult, but you already know that with NEWTS and all."

"Ronald, do you honestly think I am that stupid? Now what were you doing down at the Quidditch…hold on a bloody minute, Slytherin had practice today…what did you do to Draco?"

Neither Harry nor Ron said a word. Hermione was staring at them, "Fine if no one wants to talk then I guess I'll have to resort to other means," she raised her wand to her head and said , "Legi.."

"Wait!" shouted Harry, "I'll confess…" He figured it was better to tell her than to have her dig it out of his memories herself. "IhexedMalfoysohewouldbepregnanttoo" he mumbled

"You what?!"

"He said," chimed in Ron " ,he hexed Malfoy so"

" I heard what he said Ronald!" she looked at Harry. "What were you thinking? McGonagall told you not to…"

"And McGonagall also told us to stay in bed after curfew, but we never really listened."

Hermione just sighed, "Ok, well what is done is done." She looked concerned. "Are you alright Harry. You can't just go off and cause trouble now, you have more than just yourself and Ron to look after…"

"I know Hermione, but I just had to," he looked very flustered, "I was compelled, the baby made me do it!"

"The baby can't make you do anything!" she scolded. "I don't want to discuss this anymore. Now Harry let's get you up to bed, you don't need to be getting sick." Hermione reached for Harry's hand and lead him up the dormitory. She kissed him good night and left him to get some rest. _I never could stay mad at you, Harry,_ she thought as she closed the door behind her, "I knew you couldn't," he shouted from behind the door. Hermione silently cursed Harry's ability to read her mind as a smile crossed her lips.

Part Seven: Draco's Ordeal

Four Days Later

Draco had spent four miserable nights glued to the toilet. He had thrown up everything he had eaten in his entire life and then some, well that is what it felt like for him. Every time he felt the urge to vomit he cursed himself for crossing Potter. '_That was rather stupid of you Draco, he did kill Voldemort and manage to get your father thrown into Azkaban. You should have known you would be no match for him'!_

"Mr. Malfoy," a voice called from the doorway of the 7th year boys dormitory. It was Snape. "Where are you? You have missed all of your classes for the past three days."

"I'm," was all Draco managed to say before he found himself retching for the fiftieth time that hour. Snape found him and stood in the doorway with an odd grin upon his face. "I think you can quit scrubbing out the toilets every evening Mr. Malfoy. It seems that Mr. Potter has done enough damage to you."

Draco nodded while clenching his mouth shut.

"Come along Mr. Malfoy, we'd best get you up to Madame Pomfrey. I just finished brewing some anti-nausea potion and she is measuring out doses."

" If I go there professor, then the whole school will know I was…" he couldn't even finish the sentence, the porcelain gods were beckoning for their required sacrifice.

"I warned you over the summer not to cross him Draco. Now you must suffer the consequences, but it is curious that the spell worked on you at all. I wasn't aware you had a significant other…tell me who is he?" Snape loved to tease Draco about this, he knew very well it was a girl. He even knew who the girl was, but he did have a reputation as the school's nastiest professor to hold up after all.

" If I could say more than ten words I would…" he reached his limit and again found himself heaving.

Snape cast a spell over Draco that would alleviate the nausea long enough to get him to the hospital wing. '_This little git has no idea what is in store for him'_, mused Snape as he led Draco form Slytherin's common room and into the 'torture chamber'.

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Madame Pomfrey had been expecting Draco to waltz into the infirmary for quite some time, frankly she had expected Potter to hex him the second he found out about his Quidditch ban, but much to her surprise he waited. Draco was sitting on the hospital bed with a scowl on his face and rubbish bin clutched firmly between his legs with his arms wrapped firmly around it.

"Well, have you managed to keep the potion down?"

Draco just shook his head, that was a mistake, all that movement just forced him to lower his head to the rubbish bin, while he was doing that Madame Pomfrey just made a clicking noise with her tongue and said something about another way to stop this so she could examine him, but he honestly wasn't too concerned about it as long as it made him stop vomiting.

Madame Pomfrey came back behind the curtain hiding something behind her back, "Mr. Malfoy, I am afraid that I am going to have resort to Muggle means to give you this potion." With that she brandished a very large syringe with an extremely large and pointed needle on the end of it, Draco's eyes grew wide, "What the bloody hell is that? What are you going to do with it?"

"This is a syringe, I am going to inject the potion into you," as she said that she pushed the plunger of the syringe in causing some of the potion to squirt out of the top. Draco felt faint all of a sudden. " Now I want you to lay on your stomach, it has to go into the fattest part of you, and from the looks of you that means your bum," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"You aren't sticking that thing in me!"

"The only other option is not very pleasant Mr. Malfoy." He could only guess what that meant, but the thought of a piece of metal that big being stuck into his flesh made him pass out. When he woke up he noticed that he wasn't nauseous anymore, but he was also wearing a flimsy hospital gown and he knew it was open in the back, and then he noticed that his arse hurt something fierce. He craned his neck and looked at his arse the best he could, he could swear that one whole cheek was purple. "I shouldn't have argued, at least she would have healed the bruise," he mumbled under his breath, but then the sound of familiar voices caught his attention and he strained his ears to figure out what was going on.

---

"I told you to get that wand away from there!" Harry yelled

"Mr. Potter, we have to make sure your child is ok, Ms. Granger can stay back here with you if it would make you feel better, just please allow Professor McGonagall to do the transfiguration," pleaded Poppy, she didn't want to have to sedate him every time he came up to the hospital wing, otherwise he would be immune to the pain killing spells he would surely need when he gave birth.

Next Draco heard Hermione trying to calm him down, " Harry it is going to be fine. Just relax, this time you are going to get a nice photo of the baby, but first Madame Pomfrey has to be able to get to it."

Harry relented by throwing his arms up and giving off a loud sigh that was audible even to Draco on the opposite side of the hospital wing. Draco was becoming worried however, how was Madame Pomfrey getting to the baby exactly? And if Potter was not to keen about the idea it must be bad, after all he did defeat Voldemort. Draco just pushed his head back into the pillow and tried not to think about whatever it was that was going on in behind the privacy curtain.

Please Review….


	4. Parts Eight and Nine

A/N: Again thanks for all of your reviews, they have really given me a reason to keep writing, I am surprised I have churned this out so fast, I hope I didn't just jinx myself, I am going to try like mad to get this whole story finished by the end of the week, but I have midterms coming up so it might take a little bit longer…maybe I'll post one part at a time if it gets to that. I hope you enjoy, and don't forget to let me know how much you enjoyed this, I have found that I have come addicted to reviews.

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Part Eight: The Hospital Wing

Draco decided that he should sleep while he wasn't constantly throwing up, and when he woke up he was in for a bit of a shock, Harry was sleeping in the bed next to him. Seeing Harry only served to remind him about what he heard coming from behind that curtain and then panic set in. Draco swung his legs over to the side of the bed, winced at the pain from his bruise, and stood up. It was then he remembered that all he was wearing was that stupid hospital gown with his backside hanging out and he didn't see his robes or his wand anywhere near by. "Bloody wonderful," he cursed as he swung his legs back into bed just as he heard footsteps approaching. It was Madame Pomfrey and she was carrying a vial of potion and another huge syringe.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, I am glad to see that you are finally awake," she put the syringe in a pocket of her robes and handed Draco the vial of potion. " You can drink this then." She handed him the vial of potion waited for him to drink it. "While you were out, I examined you and everything seems to be in order. But there will be no Quidditch and no dueling."

Draco just nodded his head, he wasn't happy with the situation, but really, what could he do about it? Then he had to ask, "Madame Pomfrey, what was Potter arguing about earlier?"

"You heard that?"

"Yes, and frankly I am a bit concerned, since I am in the same situation," he paused. "What was he trying to keep a wand away from?"

"Well, I suppose you're going to find out soon enough. I should warn you that there was a slight problem with your transfiguration, now before you panic you should know that Professor McGonagall is working right now to correct the problem, but it will wear off on its own."

"Transfiguration of what? What in bloody hell are you going on about?"

"Well I had to examine the baby, and you don't come equipped with access, so Professor McGonagall had to…"

Madame Pomfrey didn't even need to finish that sentence, Draco lifted the sheet and pulled his hospital gown up. "My…oh Merlin, what in bloody hell, I have a…well I don' t bloody well have the parts I am supposed to have! You've turned me into a girl, what if I don't get my i _parts_ /i back? Then what?"

"Mr. Malfoy, calm down, we just think we tried to transfigure them too early and it reacted badly with the spell. Mr. Potter didn't have any problems at all, but he was a month along before we were able to do anything. The longest the transfiguration will last is the duration of the pregnancy."

"You mean that I am going to have to walk around like this for nine months?"

"If Professor McGonagall can't work it out, then I am afraid so."

Draco didn't know what else to say. i _It figures that St. Potter would avoid a problem like this, all these things always happen to me. Well then again everyone did try to warn me. Oh bloody hell, there is no way I can stay in my house like this…I'll have lost all control of those blasted morons._ /i Then Draco was roused by his thoughts, by Harry.

"What are you doing here Draco?"

"You mean you don't know why I'm here?"

"Yeah I do," Harry looked remorseful. "So how are you feeling? I reckon my spell was a bit more powerful than the one you threw at me."

"Well, thanks to you I haven't left the loo in four days!"

" Yeah, sorry about that, I at least had a couple of days before that part of the spell kicked in" then he paused. "But you know Draco, neither one of us would be in this predicament had you not destroyed the only copies of the counter hex."

"I guess, but then I didn't think I was going to be in this situation, now did I?"

There was a long and drawn out silence that was only interrupted by footsteps approaching Harry and Draco. It was Madame Pomfrey, and the both winced, neither one was in the mood to be poked at right now.

"Good to see you are awake Mr. Potter. The way you were carrying on earlier one would have thought that Professor McGonagall and I were going to kill you. Honestly your transfiguration went fine, everything is back to normal. Ms. Granger is going to come and collect you after she finishes giving out Prefect duties, so you may get dressed. But you have to take these potions first." She handed him four vials on a tray, and then turned her attention to Draco.

"Mr. Malfoy, you can get dressed as well, oh and, I have just finished speaking with Professor McGonagall. She is sorry but she couldn't find anything that would fix her mistake, so you are just going to have to wait it out!"

Harry knew exactly what she was talking about and almost choked on his potion, "You see, I told you nothing good would come of that, she isn't coming anywhere near me with that wand again!"

" Don't be such a baby Harry. You will be fine, we just tried on Mr. Malfoy too soon is all."

Harry released a sigh of relief, then had to stifle a giggle, he had to wonder what exactly went wrong with Draco's transfiguration; but judging by the look on his face whatever it was wasn't good. After Madame Pomfrey left, Harry found himself staring at Draco,

" Don't say anything to anyone Potter!"

"Oh and why shouldn't I? It isn't like you didn't tell the entire school I was pregnant once you found out I had been to the hospital wing."

"Please Harry, I'll do anything, just please don't tell the whole school about this," Draco then heard Hermione call for Harry, "please," he whispered once more.

Harry just smirked and went to his beloved.

Later That Night, in the Head Boy and Girl's private room…

"Harry, close your eyes, I have a surprise for you."

He smirked again. " I think I have had enough surprises for one day, Love. I am knackerd! I think I am going to head off to bed."

Hermione pouted, and made the cutest puppy dog eyes he had ever seen. He had to give in. "Ok," and he closed his eyes tightly and held out his hands. Hermione placed a globe in his hands that was the size of a bludger. "Ok, Harry, open your eyes."

Harry was shocked to see what was in front of him. A wide smile spread on his face. Inside the globe was his baby. He could see the small mass that was really nothing more than an indiscernible mass of grayish matter. "Is this a picture from today?"

"This is better than a picture of today. While you were passed out, I performed a charm that acts kind of like a Muggle video camera, and it projects and stores the images into this globe. This is what the baby is doing now, and you will be able to see the baby throughout the entire pregnancy!"

Harry started to cry. "This is the nicest thing anyone could have done for me. Thank you Hermione." Harry pulled Hermione onto his chest, and she couldn't help but notice that it was a bit softer than she was used to, but she still loved being in Harry's embrace. The two of them fell asleep in front of the roaring fire.

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Part Nine: So Emotional

Three Months Later…

Hermione was beside herself with worry and frustration. She loved Harry more than anything, but she was going to wring his bloody neck if he didn't get his emotions under control. She was always walking on eggshells around him; no matter how their conversation started, it always ended the same way, with Harry shouting and in tears and Hermione huffing away mumbling under her breath. Hermione set a large number of books down on a common room table near where Harry was playing Wizard's Chess with Ron, and then went over to Harry and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"How are you feeling today?"

Harry didn't answer right away, instead he plotted out his next move and watched as his piece attacked Ron's and moved it off of the board. "Bloody wonderful," he replied sarcastically.

"What's wrong today, Harry?" she said with the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice

"My robes didn't fit this morning when I got dressed for school," he said trying to push back the tears.

Then Ron, as caring as ever, began to state in a loud voice, "You should have seen him, he fell on to his bed in a fit of tears, going on about how disgusting he was and how the stretch marks were going to destroy his body. I told him to calm down and did a simple stretching spell on his robes, then he left all in a huff." Then Ron giggled.

"Shut up Ron, it isn't funny. I'd like to know how you'd feel?"

"Oh come off it Harry, I know that stretching spell because I use it everyday, I have to make room for all that food I eat somehow. Honestly, you are worse than a woman. I can't see Hermione going on about her robes. Be sensible. You are growing a person!"

Harry's face turned red, "Leave it to you to be Mr. Sensitive," he said sardonically.

"Harry, he's Ron, he is always like that," Hermione said in a matter of fact tone.

" Oh so now you're taking his side?" he shouted. "Why don't you just go and shag him then? I know you wouldn't want to touch me since I am so disgusting! You haven't come near me like that for almost a month!"

Ron's face grew red, "Harry, I just ate, I don't need to be hearing about you and Hermione shagging, or i _not_ /i shagging for that matter."

"Leave if you don't like it," he snapped.

"Ok, I'm going to bed. Night Harry," and then he inclined his head toward Hermione, "Hermione."

Hermione sat with her arms crossed for a second and then cast a silencing charm around them, it was bad enough that the whole common room was staring at them, the didn't need to hear it too, and she knew it would be impossible to get Harry to leave anyway.

"I do not think you are disgusting or unattractive, Harry."

"Then why won't you make love to me anymore?"

"Because you are always so moody and I don't know how to approach you!"

"Oh!" he looked shocked. "So you don't think I am fat and gross?"

"Harry you are carrying our child, how could I think you were anything but attractive?"

"Attractive?" he scoffed. "Look at me," Harry pulled his robes to the side to reveal a small bump in his abdomen. "My body is ruined," he sobbed.

"No it isn't. You'll bounce right back after the baby is born." Hermione reached out and touched the bump on Harry's abdomen. "I love you, Harry."

He smiled."I love you too. Can we go up to the private common room?"

"Anything to keep you happy love."

With that the two of them made their way up to a secluded space…

(A/N: I'll leave this up to your imagination, because I have tried about 6 times to write a 'love scene' and it is far too weird considering Harry's condition, sorry about that, maybe in a later chapter)

Now I have honored your requests for a speedy update, now please honor mine and leave a Review, be honest, but not mean.


	5. Part 10

A/N: I had to remove a part (9.5 Making Harry Feel Beautiful from this version of the story because it was a little racy. It doesn't take away from the story, really. Enjoy and leave a review. And if you can't since I can't get my settings to save for some stupid reason, you can e mail me at 

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Part Nine Point Five: Making Harry Feel Beautiful

A/N: Basically they spend a romantic evening in front of the fire, I leave it to you to take your imagination into the gutter, I trust you can find your own way back…

Part Ten: Friends in the Most Unlikely Place

The Next Day

Harry found himself alone in front of a roaring fire. He almost jumped up, but then he remembered it was Saturday, a Hogsmeade Saturday, and laid back down on the surprisingly soft ground. He felt happy. He reached to his left side for Hermione, and noticed she was gone. He still didn't have much energy to move, and then Harry's curiosity got the better of him and he found his hand wandering under i _pajama pants?_ /i Harry wondered. But he wondered if what Hermione said was true. "Bloody hell, I'll have to send McGonagall a thank you owl," he said.

"Oh yeah?" called Hermione from the doorway. She was carrying a tray piled high with breakfast. "Well I'll be expecting my thank you owl straight away then for all this work I've done for you," she joked.

"I was wondering where you went. I was about to head off to the kitchens to get a.."

"Banana and bologna sandwich?"

" You are amazing do you know that!"

"I try, you know."

The two of them finished off breakfast together and then went off to the Hospital Wing for Harry's check up. Hermione walked him as far as the corridor leading up to the hospital wing and then made her way to the library.

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Harry found himself waiting for Madame Pomfrey in front of her office. She wasn't there yet. She must have been gathering potions from Professor Snape or something. Harry leaned up against the wall to wait; as he did he felt an unfamiliar fluttering in his stomach. He reached his hands to it and was slightly worried. He had never felt anything like that before, he realized that it must be the baby moving and he wished he had that globe so he could see if the baby was moving. He was smiling when he heard someone approaching, he moved himself away from the wall in anticipation of Madame Pomfrey only to find Draco Malfoy approaching. Harry made a promise to Hermione after hexing Draco that he would make an effort to be nice to him, so he began his effort once again.

"Hello, Mal..Draco."

"What are you doing here Potter? My appointment is in fifteen minutes."

"Mine was fifteen minutes ago. Madame Pomfrey is late."

"Oh!"

"So how are things going?"

Draco looked like he was thinking about something and all of a sudden tears welled up in his eyes and he started to sob uncontrollably, "Things… i _sob_ /i …are awful… i _sob_ /i , none i _snort_ /i of my friends will talk to me… i _sob_ /i …no one understands how I feel… i _snort, sob, snort_ /i …I am so alone."

Without thinking Harry walked up to Draco and wrapped his arms around him. "Draco, don't forget that I understand what you're going through."

Draco pulled himself out of Harry's embrace and looked horrified, "Don't ever do that again Potter!" he managed to sputter. He was half disgusted and half comforted.

"Sorry Draco," Harry had to think of something to cover his behind."These hormones you know, plus all the extra ones from those potions."

"Yeah" Draco coughed. Straightening his robes and drying his eyes, as he straightened his robes Harry noticed a very slight bump that would have not been noticeable if one didn't know what they were looking for.

"Have you felt the baby move yet?"

"No," he said with ice in his voice.

"You know, we could hang out…"

"What would everyone say?"

"No one would know…there is always the Room of Requirement."

Draco's eyes beamed he was actually going to make a friend.


	6. Part Eleven and Twelve

A/N: You guys are giving me a huge ego, and you are really giving me a reason to write. To all of you who took the time to review, thank you so much. I hope you keep on reviewing for me! Now here is the next installment. By the way, I know these chapters aren't very long, but I don't want to write a bunch of filler crap that will take away from the story, plus on of the draw backs of being an English major is that you learn how to just get to the point… so sorry about the length, but I hope what it lacks in length it makes up in humor. Oh and I do have class during the week so I won't be posting four chapters in one day, but I will try to post one a day, or at least one every other day.

Oh yeah, and here is my reasoning for Draco being so OOC, after the war he sees that his family was wrong. This is just the way I could see Draco evolving after he realizes the error of his ways.

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Part 11: When Harry met Draco, and then Draco Moved In

(A/N: In my opinion this part sucks, but it is necessary for the next part…I know I said that last time too, but this is still true. I worked on this part and it just won't come together. I might edit it at some point)

Later the Same Day

Harry left Madame Pomfrey's office with his new stock of potions to get through the week. He was just happy that Madame Pomfrey agreed to use the globe to examine the baby instead of using transfiguration constantly; that was a load off Harry's mind. Harry was making his way down to the kitchens to see if he could get a quick snack from the house elves when he heard something coming form the corridor that lead to the Grand Staircase. It sounded like whimpering.

Harry followed the sound of the whimpering until he came to the front of a large statue of some Goblin from one of the Rebellions, but that wasn't the point, the point was that there was a crumpled figure with blonde hair lying in the fetal position behind this statue. Immediately Harry recognized the figure as Draco.

"Draco, are you alright?"

"Yeah," he was sobbing again, "Those wankers hit me in the blasted eye! They knocked me over and said they were going to kick me in the stomach. Then they pulled down my pants and found out that McGonagall made my penis vanish," with the last bit he really started to cry. "As if it wasn't bad enough I was growing three penny bits, now I've lost my rightful bits!"

"Come on Draco, we're going to see Dumbledore."

Harry helped Draco up and the two of them made their way to the Headmaster's office. Harry walked up to the statue of the gargoyle and said, "Canary Cream," the statue moved to reveal the staircase to the Headmaster's office. As expected, Dumbledore was sitting at his desk. He was writing when the walked in, but did not look surprised to see the pair standing before him.

"I've been expecting you, Mr. Malfoy."

"Really?" Draco was shocked, he really had no idea how powerful Dumbledore was, in fact he was blinded to the greatness of this man because of his father.

Dumbledore nodded, "Yes, now I know things haven't been going well for you in your own house given your situation, and Professors Snape, McGonagall and myself have spoken and have come up with a solution."

"When should I pack my bags?"

"You let the house elves pack them, I don't want you going back to your former house, I fear that nothing but harm will come to you there. You have two choices Draco, you can go home and live with your mother, or you can be transferred to Gryffindor house."

"Well I can't go home, but are you sure it has to be Gryffindor?"

"Gryffindor House is the only house willing to accept a transfer, this is your last year after that you will probably never see these people again, especially since you have cut yourself off from that way of life."

Draco nodded, "At least none of the Gryffindors will try to kill me or my baby."

Dumbledore nodded in affirmation, and then turned to Harry, "Thank you for bringing Mr. Malfoy here Harry. Please show him to his new common room."

"Thank you, sir."

Draco and Harry left Dumbledore's office but did not go directly to the common room. After leaving Dumbledore's office, Harry and Draco's stomachs gurgled at the same time. "Weird," they both said in unison. Harry and Draco just looked at each other. Neither one wanted to open their mouths for fear of the other one talking at the same time. Harry raised is hand to Draco and spoke, "Lets head to the kitchens I could really go for some bangers and fudge". Draco made a face. " That is disgusting Harry, you should really try kosher dills with pumpkin ice cream, that my friend, is how food is done." (A/N: bangers are sausages)

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Later on in the Common Room

Harry walked in first and had Draco wait in the corridor. Ron rushed up to him with an excited grin on his face, "Guess what Harry, we're getting a new roommate, some transfer student."

"I know."

Ron's face fell, "Why does Hermione always have to ruin everything?"

"Dumbledore told me."

"Oh," he paused, "well the new bloke's going to be here any second Harry."

"He's already here."

"I hope he's a good seeker, ever since you've been benched we haven't been fairing too well."

"He is a fair seeker, but I don't think he is going to be able to play." Just as Harry said that Draco walked through the portrait hole accompanied by Professors McGonagall and Snape.

Ron was shocked he just stood with his mouth gaping and open barely able to breathe. Hermione on the other hand was quite pulled together. "Hello Draco, welcome to Gryffindor."

Snape just curled his lip, and McGonagall offered her favorite pupil a smile, then turned to address the rest of the class. "Mr. Malfoy will be a new member of your house. You are to treat him as one of your own. And you are not to forget his allegiance to the Light. Any problems and you will be on the Hogwarts' Express home." Her voice left no room for discussion.

Snape then decided that it was an appropriate time to announce the real reason Draco was there as well as tell Harry's secret as well. He used a stage whisper, "Now Minerva, you should really let them know that two pregnant men are walking around their house."

Minerva glared at Severus, he just put his hands up in front of him, "What, what did I do?"

" Honestly Severus, have you been taking lessons from Ronald Weasley!" Minerva forgot for a second that Severus was a professor and not a student she grabbed him by his ear and lead him out of the Gryffindor common room. Harry had to bite his lip to keep from giggling.

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About an hour later…

"Granger, I told you to get away from me with that thing!"

"Draco, quit being such a baby! It isn't going to hurt. I know what I am doing."

" I said, get away from me with that wand, I don't want you near me or my baby with that. How to I know you aren't casting a spell to turn me into a hippogriff or something?"

"You don't, but part of being in Gryffindor is being i _brave_. /i "

" Well, …. I …" he paused, he was very flustered, "Get away from me with that wand!"

Hermione didn't really care what he had to say; she was going to carry out this grand gesture if it killed Draco! She put her hands on his shoulder and pushed him down onto the sofa. "Sit!"

Draco closed his eyes bracing himself for the worst and began to yell. "Harry, your girlfriend has gone bloody mad! She is trying to kill me."

Harry, who was playing a game of Wizard's chess with Ron, laughed. "Draco, she isn't going to kill you. She casts those spells on me all the time and I'm not dead!"

Draco rolled his eyes, "Yeah well, she likes you."

"I guess you do have a point then," replied Harry.

"What are you playing at Granger?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and made her way over to Harry. "Harry, show him the globe."

"Oi, Granger, you can't expect him to run about showing off his genitals to the entire common room."

"That wasn't the globe I was talking about!"

Harry pulled a small clear ball from the pocket of his robes and handed it to Hermione. She waved her wand across it and it expanded to its original size. "This will allow you to see your baby any time you wish, and it records all the activity, it's a baby book of sorts! I created the spell myself," Hermione beamed.

"Wicked," was all Draco could say. Then he listened to all Hermione's instructions as she performed the complicated charm. After the charm was complete and Draco was looking at his baby just floating about he was brought out of his happiness by a sharp blow to the side of the head. After he picked his head back up, he turned around to see on fiery redhead standing behind him with her arms at her hips, anger flaring in her chocolate brown eyes, and a scowl on her face. Draco gulped, and tried to plaster a smile on his face while he rubbed his throbbing head.

"Draco Malfoy," started Ginny, "how dare you keep this from ME of all people!"

She wound up to hit him again, but Harry grabbed her arm."Ginny, the baby."

Ginny reluctantly dropped her fist to her side, "Well I am waiting for your explanation," she tapped her foot and put her hands on her hips. Harry backed away, she looked just like her mother when her mother was angry, and he knew that he didn't want to be anywhere near Ginny when she really let him have it.

"Ginny, I don't know why I didn't tell you." And then the waterworks began. "I just am so disgusting and you are so beautiful. You deserve someone so much better than me," he hung his head and let the tears fall freely.

Ginny immediately felt bad, "Draco I am so sorry."

"No I'm sorry, I should have told you about the baby."

"Well…"

Draco cut her off. "You are the baby's mother, Ginny."

"What?"

"The spell…" Draco explained how the spell worked, and Ginny looked in awe. She put hand to Draco's stomach and her face lit up. Then she noticed the globe and took it in her hands and just looked into it.

"I am so happy."

Then Ron had to come into the conversation. "What do you mean she is the mother of this child?"

Neither Ginny nor Draco said anything.

"Well?"

"Ron, sod off, you can't tell me who I can and cannot date. Just because you are my brother does not mean that I cannot do what I want to do." Ginny grabbed Draco by the hand and led him off to a secluded corner of the common room. This did not stop Ron from following them. Ron tapped Draco on the shoulder and he turned around. Ron swung right at Draco's face, but before he made contact a great blue light enveloped Draco and pushed Ron clear across the room.

Ron was in a daze. "What the bloody hell was that all about?"

Hermione answered, "I guess, the baby is protecting Draco"

"But Ginny hit him."

"She wasn't intending on really hurting him, you were."

"Bollocks! Did you see how angry she was?"

Hermione just shrugged her shoulders and helped her best friend up. Ron stood up and rubbed his arse, he did fall pretty hard. "Bloody hormones, they're enough to cause some serious damage to innocent bystanders such as myself," he mumble under his breath and then made his way up to the common room.

A/N: I wanted to post this so you guys could see what happens next and will try to have the next two parts up by tomorrow…the story is almost at an end…almost…Review!!


	7. Part Twelve, continued and Twelve point ...

Part 12: Suspicion Run A Muck

Two Months Later

Draco and Harry were progressing quite nicely in their pregnancies, well as nice as it could get when one felt the size of an elephant, had constant backaches, and swollen ankles. Needless to say the two were not always the most bearable people on the planet, let alone Gryffindor Tower. Harry was getting particularly narky, especially in Hermione's opinion.

Hermione and Ron were quietly discussing a very important topic in the corner of the common room while Harry glared at them, constantly making comments to Draco, who would in turn glare and then nod his head in agreement. Harry was making very rude guttural noises from his place on the couch in a very bad attempt to distract Hermione and Ron. Hermione was getting very annoyed with Harry and with every sound he made, she would merely shift in her seat so that her back was further turned to him. This annoyed Harry to no end, so he finally managed to get himself up off the couch, this was no small feat, the couches were very cushiony and one's body sort of fell into to the couch, when one was carrying around a bump the size of two quaffles in front of them it was nearly impossible to get up from the couch unaided. Harry however used his wand and cast a spell that would in essence pull him off the couch. Then he waddled his way over to Hermione and stood behind her glaring. He reached his wand out and tapped her shoulder rather hard.

Hermione ignored him for a second, then he poked her a second time, even harder, she stiffly turned around to face him. "Is there something I can help you with, Harry?" she asked forcing a grin.

"Yes, why are you sitting over here with i _him_, /i when I am sitting on the couch alone waiting to have a back rub and foot massage?"

" I would suspect you are sitting there with i _Draco_ /i because I am i _busy_ /i discussing something IMPORTANT with Ron."

"Oh? And what is possibly more important than making sure that the man carrying your child is comfortable enough to make sure the baby isn't suffering from unnecessary distress?"

"Obviously, what Ron and I are discussing. Why don't you go over there and have Draco rub your back and then you can rub his. Come on now love, be a good daddy" she said sardonically.

Harry just stood glaring at her.

"Harry if you don't go and put your feet up your ankles are going to swell and then you are going to be in a foul mood all day tomorrow because you won't have been able to sleep."

Harry didn't say anything and made his way back to the couch where Draco was sitting absent- mindedly rubbing the bump on his abdomen. Harry plopped himself back down on the couch, "Can you believe that woman?" he said to no one in particular, but Draco had to answer.

"Which one Hermione or Ginny?"

"Hermione. Why what's wrong with Ginny?"

"Well all she does all day after class is sit in front of the fire reading a book or watching some sort of Muggle movie that plays on that damn globe Hermione gave her for her birthday. She doesn't pay any attention to me at all. It hasn't exactly been easy for me since Pomfrey put me on rest. I can't leave the bloody Tower, and all I want is some social interaction and a nice back massage."

"Huh! Well I asked Hermione to give me a back massage just now and you know what she told me?" Draco nodded his head. "She told me to ask you because she was discussing something important with Ron!"

"The nerve! Honestly, you would think that they wouldn't understand the sacrifices we're making here. I don't see them losing their figures or hovering over toilets or getting swelled ankles or strange cravings!"

"And I don't see them trying to make our lives any easier," Harry started. "Just last night at around three in the morning I made my way over to Hermione's dorm and asked her to go to the kitchens and get me some cold chicken topped off with peanut butter and a side of dill pickles and she told me if I could walk all the way to her dorm then I could make it to the kitchens! And then she yelled at me when I tried to call for Dobby, said he needed a break!"

"That's awful!" Draco's eyes grew wide."Shh, Shh, here she comes."

"Hello Harry, Love, how are we feeling better?" she asked sweetly as she put her arms on his shoulders and started to massage them. He shrugged his shoulders and twisted his body away from her, "Don't touch me," he said coldly. Draco snickered, but stopped when he heard Ginny.

"And what is so funny Draco? I saw the two of you chatting over here! Now what is going on?"

Draco squirmed a little and then Ginny pulled him up off the couch. "As if you would understand anyways." Then he had to focus really hard to hold back the tears that were about to gush from his eyes. "You are always just making life so difficult," and then he waddled off to his dormitory as fast as his swollen ankles would carry him.

"I am going to see if he's alright!" called Harry as he waddled after Draco.

Hermione turned to Ginny, "I don't know how much more I can take of those two acting like smarmy gits! Blasted hormones!"

--

Meanwhile Back in the Dorms

Draco and Harry were both still in an irritable mood when Ron walked in. The poor red head had no idea what was in store for him when he opened that door and placed his wand on the night stand beside his bed.

"So, Ron did you enjoy your little talk with Hermione?" asked Harry coldly.

"Yeah, we haven't talked in a while, it was nice," he replied happily.

"Oh really. So are you shagging her then?"

"What the bloody hell are you going on about?"

"Don't play innocent with me, I know what you're up to."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"You two are spending every free second together whispering and then whenever I come around you stop!"

"Harry you are over reacting, Hermione and I are just talking, she was helping me with a Divination chart."

"She hates Divination!"

"That doesn't mean she can't help me out mate. Look I know you aren't feeling yourself."

"You don't have any idea how I feel, Ronald!" Harry shouted. Then all of a sudden he crumpled down on the edge of his bed in a fit of tears. "How would you know what I feel like? The woman I love won't even come anywhere near me because I am fat and disgusting."

"Maybe she won't come anywhere near you because you are acting like a bloody wanker! You cry at the drop of a hat and then you shout at her the next second for whatever reason. I really don't know why you think she's been avoiding you, ever since you got hit with that spell I have barely had five minutes to talk to her until recently. Just bloody calm down."

The next thing Ron knew, Draco had his hands held tightly behind his back, and Harry had his wand pointed directly at Ron's abdomen. "Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't hex you like I hexed Draco!"

"Oh Bloody Hell," was all Ron managed to say before he passed out.

Then Draco let Ron slump down to the floor and both he and Harry shared a fit of laughter.

"That git thinks I would really hex him!"

"Well he did make you angry."

"Yeah, but let's have him on a bit. I got this potion from Fred and George that mimics morning sickness, he'll think I've hexed him!"

With that Draco nodded and opened Ron's mouth while Harry poured the potion down Ron's throat, the Draco used his wand, "Ennervate."

Ron woke with a start, "What did you d.." before he could finish his sentence he ran off to the loo, the sounds of his retching could be heard from behind the closed door. The next thing either one of them saw was a flash of red hair running to what they assumed to be the hospital wing.

---

A half an hour later

Ron returned to the dormitory with a shocked look on his face, he immediately found Harry and Draco sitting on their respective beds holding their enchanted globes in their hands watching their babies move, "You two think you are a bloody riot don't you?"

Harry giggled. "Yeah we do actually, that was the most fun I've had since I hexed Draco."

"That isn't funny Potter," warned Draco through the widest grin either Harry or Ron had ever seen on his face.

"Do you know what that bloody woman did to me up there?" He unconsciously grabbed the crotch of his pants. "She said the only way to know for sure if you hexed me with that spell was to look inside…she made it disappear Harry!"

Harry had tears rolling down his cheeks he was laughing so hard. "Yeah I know what she has to do…it is bloody embarrassing! But better you than me!"

Draco was laughing too and he slipped a little. "Just be happy yours grew back Weasley, I'm still waiting!"

"Oh man! Do you reckon it could just come and go?"

Harry seizing the opportunity lied a little bit. "That is what happens to me mate! I am always afraid it won't come back!"

The consequence of that little lie was everyone seeing Ron, at least once every fifteen minutes, reaching for he crotch of his pants under his robes to make sure his penis was still there for the next couple of weeks.

Part 12.5: The Aftermath

The Same Night

Harry and Draco stood staring at Ron; it was difficult not to laugh at him. Every single time they glanced up at Ron they laughed. Ron hadn't told anybody about what happened, no one except Madame Pomfrey, but somehow, Hermione found out and she wasn't very happy about it.

"Harry James Potter and Draco," there was a pause as she realized that she didn't know Draco's name, she sat searching her memory for a few minutes and became more flustered at the fact that she didn't know something, "Draco…Draco, oh what in the bloody hell is your middle name?"

"That would be none of your business!"

"Don't make me go and ask Ginny!"

"I don't have a middle name."

"Fine. Harry James Potter and Draco No Middle Name Malfoy, what do you two think your doing?"

"Um ... right now, Potions homework," answered Harry.

"Not that, what did you two do to Ron? He won't come near me and every time I look at him he practically has his hands down his pants!"

"We didn't do anything," replied Draco, which was half the truth, Madame Pomfrey was responsible for his paranoia.

"You two are…so…argh" she didn't want to say anything to upset them nor did she wish to say anything that she would live to regret. So she stormed away.

"Good thing we're preggers, Harry. Otherwise she might have hexed us both!"

"Nah, she could never hex me, you on the other hand had better be glad," Harry joked as he returned his attentions to his potions essay. He was steadily working along at it when he felt a tap on his shoulder; he looked up to see Ron.

"How can I help you mate?" Harry asked playfully as if nothing had happened to Ron at all.

"Well, I just found out that I am not pregnant, thank you very much!"

" I knew that."

"You could have shared that information with me you know!"

"Well, you ran off so fast I didn't get a chance! What would you have me do, waddle all the way to hospital wing after you?" Ron nodded smugly. "By the time I got there you would have already been transfigured."

" I am only going to forgive you because Hermione said you are basically mental right now."

"Mental are we Ron?" asked Draco brandishing his wand. "Then I guess we really couldn't get into trouble if we hexed you for real." A sly grin crossed his face.

Ron put his hands out in front of him. "Now Draco, be a good mate, I was just having at you, I don't really think you're mental. You two already played a very funny joke," he assured them as he slowly backed away. His get away attempt was foiled by a pesky chair that he fell right over, unfortunately the chair was very close to the table Hermione was working at and her pot of black ink spilled all over Ron's red hair. It was another laugh at Ron's expense.

Hermione was quick to the rescue as always, "Scourgify!" The ink disappeared from Ron's person. " Now you can finish helping me"

Harry glared at Ron and Hermione before he returned to his essay, he desperately wanted to know what those two were up to. Again were the sounds of hushed whispers and he caught a few words here and there, "baby….Harry….Draco….surprise…awful…leave…." Then Hermione glared at Harry and motioned for him to return to his work. But all Harry could think of was how Hermione was probably going to leave him with Draco and go off with Ron. He slammed his book shut, left the scrolls on the table and went up to his dorm room. There he sat in the darkness of his curtained four-poster bed for the entire night, sleeping a dreamless sleep thanks to the draught Dobby put in the pumpkin juice Harry requested before bed.


	8. Part Thirteen

A/N: The response to this story is incredible, I cannot believe how many of you like this story. It all started out because I was bored….who knew. I hope that I have answered all of your questions. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I really love to read those reviews so by all means fell free to keep them coming! The more reviews I get, the more I want to write…and the sequel needs to be worked on too. I hope you enjoy. Only two parts left until the end of the story, but I am not sure just how many chapters that is going to be.

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Part 13: The Confrontations

Two Weeks Later

Draco and Harry had been spending a lot of time talking to each other about their significant others,;specifically how their significant others were significantly absent from their lives for the time being. And then they started to figure out how they could best deal with the situation; a confrontation. Draco decided that Harry should go first, that way he could 'learn from the master' as it were.

Harry and Draco had been occupying their usual place in front of the fire. Both of them propping their feet up on ottomans they had conjured. Harry managed to use a spell go get himself up and then turned to waddle over to the table where Hermione was sitting…he noticed she was sitting next to Ginny. He turned to Draco, "Get up, they're sitting together, we can kill two birds with one stone!"

"What?"

"It is a Muggle expression, just get your arse off that couch and waddle over to that table with me!"

"Fine." Draco struggled a little bit to pull himself up form the couch before Harry relented and offered him a hand.

The pair made their way over to the table and the two girls immediately stopped talking, and smiled brightly at their significant others. "Hello, Love." said Hermione happily."Hello, sweetness," said Ginny as she stood up and gave Draco a kiss on the cheek. These niceties, however, did not remove the icy glares from their eyes.

"Don't you think you can just go around saying hello and giving us kisses on the cheek is going to make us happy!"

Hermione smiled brightly. "You are absolutely right, Harry. We have been awful," she nodded to Ginny, "we should have been more attentive to your needs."

Ginny chimed in, "Yes, we should have done more, but we were just so wrapped up in our own lives and, well I am sorry Draco, I shouldn't have just taken you for granted."

Draco and Harry blushed, now they felt like great prats.

Hermione pulled Harry into a big hug and kissed him on the cheek. "I am sorry that I have been cross with you, its just, well I couldn't read you like I normally could and you know how I get when I can't automatically fix something."

Ginny held Draco's hand in hers. "I am sorry, I was kind of mad at you for keeping this from me and I, well I guess I let that famous Weasley anger get to me."

Draco sneered. "That isn't an excuse! You owe me!"

"And how shall I pay the debt?" She asked pulling him into a kiss. Both girls were trying to distract their respective mates, while Ron snuck up behind them and charmed blind-folds on them.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" screamed Harry.

"Don't ruin the surprise Harry! Don't you trust me?"

"Not as much as I used to," he answered huffily.

"Fine," she retorted. "But I am going to do this anyway."

She cast a charm that allowed Harry and Draco to float in front of them so they could be pushed to the Room of Requirement. "It will be much faster this way."

Once inside the Room of Requirement, the charms were lifted and Harry and Draco were more than shocked. They turned to the three people grinning behind them, "This is why you've been ignoring us?"

The three nodded in unison.

"I feel like a bloody idiot, this whole time here I was thinking you and Ron were shagging!"

"Honestly Harry!,Ron?"

"Hey, What's wrong with me?"

"Well nothing really, but I wouldn't fancy shagging my brother is all."

"Oh understood!"

"Hermione" Harry sobbed, "This is the sweetest thing…I can't believe you organized all of this for me."

" i _WE, /i " _ emphasized Hermione, "did this because you deserve a grand affair, it isn't everyday that Harry Potter is going to have a baby! Now go and enjoy your shower, the both of you!"

A/N: Short, sweet, not very funny, but necessary for the next part. I have decided that two more chapters remain until the next installment. I hope to have the next part up tonight. So keep your eyes peeled and if you would be so kind leave a token of appreciation in the form of a review!


	9. Part Fourteen

A/N: I know the last part was short, but I wanted to leave you all with something before I went off to school for the day; and now I hope you will wake up to find this, as I am writing late into the night!

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Part 14: The Baby Shower

Harry and Draco were all smiles as lavish amounts of attention that was being paid to them. There were many kinds of congratulations and a pile of presents so high Harry could have sworn that the ceiling in the Room of Requirement was at least four times it normal height. There were great wooden beams across the ceiling, which was enchanted to show the images recorded on the baby viewing globes both Harry and Draco had. There were all kinds of pink and blue streamers and balloons. There were tables set up along the walls full of all sorts of delicious foods. Harry and Draco were pleased to see that peanut butter and pickles lined the tables as well as the ever popular shepherd's pie garnished with hot fudge, however that particular item seemed to materialize as soon as the pregnant pair walked into the room.

Harry turned to Draco. "I can't bloody believe that they did all of this for us."

"I know, I was ready to hex Ginny into the next Millennium!"

Ginny was the first to take control of the situation., "Ok you lot, it is time to play the baby games."

"Oh Ginny!" squeaked Hermione, "you have lost a diaper pin" and with a swish of the wand, a diaper pin that had been on the collar of Ginny's robes vanished. "Don't forget you can't say the word b-a-b-y!" called Hermione to the entire room.

Harry and Draco groaned. "What kind of bloody games are these?" Sensing that the games weren't going to be too fun for them.

"They are mostly Muggle games that Hermione has adapted" explained Ginny, as she produced two large spools of enchanted ribbon, one pink and one blue. "Draco you hold on to the pink ribbon and Harry you hold on to the blue ribbon." As each one grabbed on, Ginny muttered some sort of spell and the spools wrapped themselves around the two young men seemingly taking a measurement of how wide around they were. "Now all of us here well measure a piece off of the spool and the one who is closes to the right measurement will win a lovely prize," explained Ginny.

Hermione held up a basket that was empty. "Who ever wins can get whatever they want so long as it fits in this basket and it is not actual money."

Draco was a bit upset when Neville's turn came to test his piece of ribbon against the one Ginny had taken earlier, it was at least four times the length. All of a sudden, a mirror showed up in front of Draco and he nervously looked at himself from the front, then the side, then with his robes on, then with his robes off, to determine if he could look anywhere near as remotely large as Neville had suggested. He decided, of course, that he could and a scowl grew on his face. "I can't wait for this blasted baby to be born so I get my body back."

Of course all Hermione heard was 'baby' "Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, Draco, you know better, now you've lost a diaper pin." Then she happily flitted away to tend to Harry. Ginny on the other hand saw Draco sulking in the corner and went to see what she could do about making him happy.

"Draco love, this is supposed to be a party for _you_, what are you doing over here all by yourself?"

"Did you see the size of that dasted ribbon that Neville cut?"

"Oh, honestly Draco, it is a bloody game, and you know Neville. He couldn't get the spool to stop spinning so he could perform the severing charm, and once the ribbon is cut it is cut, you can't just fix it…he didn't mean to offend you!"

"I just saw my reflection, he was definitely telling the truth!"

"What are you going on about? You are hardly showing, it just looks like you've been drinking a bit too much butterbeer, and honestly I think it is quite…cute."

"Men are not _cute_, men are sexy and suave. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Ginny just shrugged her shoulders and kissed Draco on the cheek and led him out from his corner back to the center of attention, where he belonged.

"Ok. Ok." Called Hermione from her perch on a table. "All of you listen up, this last game is just for the dads-to-be, it is 'Diaper the Gnome.'" When she said that a table appeared in the center of the room complete with two angry gnomes and some odd looking nappies. "The object of this game is to see who can diaper the gnome the fastest, without getting, …erm…messed, there is an added challenge, the nappies have been hexed so as not to go on easy…the winner will get to go first in the rotation of opening gifts!"

Draco and Harry cast each other one of those 'guy looks', the ones that transfer complete and utter disdain for a situation, and then each turned to their perspective girl and pleaded with their eyes to cancel the game. Whatever was going to happen it wasn't going to end good. Neither one knew how to charm a nappy on a baby when it wasn't hexed…

Harry and Draco took their spots like good sports and played the game while everyone else around them cheered. Harry grabbed the gnome bye its ankles, and let one foot go, then tried to 'wingardim leviosa' the diaper over to it, the gnome however, protested by peeing on Harry's robes. "Bugger! That this has good aim!" snorted Draco, who was holding is gnome by its oddly shaped head with one hand while trying to open up a nappy that had sealed itself shut with the other.

"In my opinion, good aim would have been if it hit you instead of me!" retorted Harry, who threw the gnome down on the table and pinned it down with his forearm while he tried to remember the charm Hermione had taught him for diapering a baby; it took him a few minutes, but eventually he remembered, and held his hand over the stack of diapers and muttered the charm and the diaper found itself tightly fastened around one very unhappy gnome.

Draco wasn't as fortunate as Harry, his gnome decided to get up and run away, Draco tried to charm the nappies to go after the gnome, but all he managed to do was to charm diapers onto a few of his unsuspecting guests, including poor Neville. "Why is it always me?" he asked shaking his head as he pulled he nappy off from his outer robes.

Harry didn't get any time to respond, Hermione grabbed him by the arm and led him over to the table where he and Draco were to sit and open their gifts. "Harry wins, so Harry goes first." The gifts appeared on the table as he sat before it, a quill was on a table with a stack of thank you parchments on it so that each one could be written out as the gifts were open; it would save so much trouble after the babies were born insisted Hermione.

Harry pulled the yellow gift paper off of the box and smiled brightly in anticipation as he opened the first box. He didn't remove the item from the package straight away, he was a bit confused about what the item was, upon further study he realized it was some sort of strange undergarment. Harry's face turned crimson, and Draco, the Slytherin side of him showing for a brief second, pulled out the largest pair of spandex knickers he had ever seen, "Oh look here Potter, you've got some support knickers, for that large bulge you've been lugging around, its magically enhanced to take some of the pressure off! I'd love to get a picture of you in those beauties!" Harry's face was still tinted red with embarrassment and anger, next it was Draco's turn to open a gift. Draco noticed that the gift was wrapped in the same paper, and his face was light up with anticipation as Harry's face had been as he opened up the box and pulled out an identical pair of spandex support knickers, he turned to Harry, "Not a word!"

Harry and Draco were a bit apprehensive about the next gift they opened, it was from Mrs. Weasley, Harry went first, of course, and opened the package to reveal a set of powder blue baby jumpers, Draco seeing that the gift wasn't bad tore into his gift and saw he got the same thing except his were a pale green color.

They continued to work their way through their mountain of gifts, deciding it would save time if they opened gifts at the same time. Two huge gift baskets made their way to the table, their was no tag to see who the gift was from, but each guy rotated opening a package from the basket, neither one opening the same gift. Draco went first this time. He pulled out a box that was wrapped in white paper adorned with blue and pink footprints, and made an 'aww' sound as he unwrapped it, then his face fell in a confused sort of grimace, almost, "What is it Draco?" shouted a few people from the group surrounding the table. He shrugged his shoulders for a second and then his face grew a hot pink as he realized what it was… "It's a breast pump, it says here you use it to get breast milk from your…breast…so you can feed the baby with a bottle." He took the odd item out of the package and produced the necessary charm to get the thing working. He put his hand over the suctioning part of the device, and his entire hand was almost sucked into the thing! "There is no way I am putting any part of my body near that thing!" Draco cried as he jumped up a little.

Ginny cast him a glare with a twinkle in her eye, "If you cross me you'll find certain parts trapped in there for eternity!"

Draco quickly put the breast pump back in the basket, vowing to toss it out before it made its way back to Gryffindor Tower.

Harry opened a package that was wrapped in blue paper with 'boy' written all over it, he smiled, and guessing by the weight of the package that it was yet another adorable outfit to add to the ever expanding pile – he couldn't have been more wrong! When he unwrapped the paper a giant red rubber doughnut expanded before his eyes, and he sat looking at it puzzled for a moment. Hermione noticed the puzzled look on his face, and the terrified look on Draco's face, "Those are for after you give birth…it is kind of uncomfortable to sit for a while so you sit on those…" Harry and Draco just nodded, wondering why they would need those in the first place, the spell would be over so they would go back to their old selves…then Hermione burst their bubble. "  
You two do know you won't return to your normal selves until 6 weeks after the births, right?" she whispered at them. Draco and Harry gulped with that realization.

Each one went to reach for another package, but realized they had worked their way through all of the gifts, which was slightly disappointing, but they were in much better spirits now that they knew they were loved and appreciated by so many.


	10. Part Fifteen

A/N: Thanks to all of you again for your reviews, no matter how you feel about the story, I appreciate the fact that you are taking the time to give me your opinions on my story. I am glad that most of you like it, and a couple of people have gotten the idea that the story is done, well it isn't done yet. And I am going to admit, I have lost track of time in the story so this next part takes place when Harry is 9 pregnant and Draco is 8 months pregnant, I know I could go back and figure it out if I really really wanted to, but I want to write this and post it before I lose track of what I want to do in this chapter, so please forgive my laziness. And before you start throwing things at me for not continuing with those speedy updates, I just want to let you know that it wasn't my fault…Harry and Draco just weren't in the mood to cooperate, the hormones really have the best of them…bloody boys! LOL! Without further ado, the next part….

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Part 15: Time

Harry…

Harry and Hermione sat in her private rooms holding each other. Since the baby shower they had been spending a lot more time together, just enjoying each other's company and relishing the time they had left as HarryandHermione before the baby came along. The couple was sitting in front of the fire each having a hand placed Harry's rather large abdomen feeling the baby kick and watching Harry's flesh give in to the kick. This is what they had found themselves doing since the baby shower. Harry had been excused from classes since his unborn child's magic had started to begin interfering with his own magic. He was performing as well as Ron did second year; when his wand had been broken by that monstrosity of a tree! Since Hermione was three months ahead of everyone with her studies anyway, she just chose to hand in her assignments and magically record the classes and take notes later; she wanted to be with Harry so he wouldn't have to do anything and she hated to ask the school's House Elves to do it for her.

"Harry are you afraid?" she asked as she ran her soft hands over his bump

"Of course, but if I could kill Voldemort…"

Hermione cut him off. "This is nothing like Voldemort, and you know it!"

"Yes, but how does it look if The-Boy-Who-Saved-The-Free-World can't handle such trivial pain as child birth?"

Hermione smiled almost knowingly and then in a very condescending tone said, "You're right Harry child birth is just a trivial pain."

They stared into the fire again in silence, Harry's mind working over what Hermione had said, but more specifically how he said it. After a very long silence Harry seemed to pick up the conversation where he left off the reasoning in his own mind. "That's it, the baby will just have to live in here for ever, because I am not going to let it come out!" Hermione was about to giggle, but then she noticed a look of panic that spread across his face; it was worse than the one he wore before marching off to face Voldemort. She silently reprimanded herself for putting that much fear in him and in an effort to quell the fear,;she leaned over and placed a passionate kiss on his lips.

Draco…

Draco was in the common room with his legs lying across Ginny's lap, his ankles were swollen to what felt like the circumference of a vast oak tree, and he had been keeping his feet propped up almost 24 hours a day. Ginny was dutifully giving him a foot and ankle massage, filling him in on all the gossip around the castle and kidding around with each other, like they used to when no one was looking.

"Gin, you're absolutely gorgeous, you know that don't you?"

"Always a charmer you are!" and she leaned in and kissed him on the top of his forehead

Draco mockingly scoffed, "You don't think I got myself into this situation because I got kissed on the forehead!"

"No you stupid git, you got in this position because you _were_ an arrogant prat with a wand up his arse and his nose in the air," she kidded.

"Ha! Ha! Ginny!"

"Draco?"

"Hm?"

And then Ginny leaned in and kissed him chastely on the lips, he returned the kiss a little more aggressively and tried to pull himself up to reach her lips and run his fingers through his hair…but he had to struggle with the bump that pulled him down onto the couch every time he tried to get up.

"Oh, settle down there little mother, don't want to work yourself into a frenzy," Ginny teased in her best Molly impression.

Draco pursed his lips. "I'd like to see you try to maneuver with one of these things," he said pointing to his stomach.

"So would I…"

"Ginny…I…are you…sure…can we…don't you think…"

"Draco, you are forgetting that we have to wait until after you have the baby…some requisite parts are…erm…on sabbatical," she had to try really really hard not to giggle.

"But who said I can't kiss you and make unicorns everywhere run from you?"

"Draco!…."

Harry…

All of a sudden Harry pushed Hermione off of him. Hermione was in a daze and was pulling her shirt up over her shoulders and was irate when she yelled, "What in bloody hell was that….", her eyes grew wide as she saw Harry's face, "Oh my Gods Harry…I think…are you in labor?"

Harry started to do the breathing exercises that Hermione had painstakingly taught him to keep himself from screaming. It wasn't that it hurt…yet. "I don't know what is going on, but I think I've wet myself!" his face was crimson with embarrassment.

"Oh, Harry, we haven't got much time. Your water has broken. We need to get you up to the hospital wing…where is the portkey,,, and your bag."

"I don't need that portkey!" he screamed indignantly. "I am perfectly capable of waddling to the hospital wing!"

"Harry do you think you can get up all 17 flights of bloody stairs and down and around 9 corridors before we reach the hospital wing?"

Harry was about to say something, but just as he opened his mouth he felt like his abdomen was going to explode…"Fine give me that damned portkey…"

Hermione handed Harry the rubber doughnut he received at his baby shower and said the activation word _ baby booties_ and the pair felt the familiar tug of the portkey as they were whisked up to the hospital wing…

Draco…

Ginny jumped off the couch in one fluid motion… "Merlin Draco!"

"Sorry…I ….Oh…Gin…grab the portkey"

"Oh is that what that was I thought…never mind," Ginny grabbed the portkey from her a pocket in her robes and held Draco's hand and said the activation words _pleas let it grow back_ and the two of them were whisked up the hospital wing…

The Hospital Wing…

"Would you four mind telling me why you are in here causing such noise?" boomed a voice from a dark corner of the room that definitely did not belong to Madame Pomfrey…

"Professor Snape?" asked Hermione

"Who else would it be? Well I am guessing that the time for the births has arrived." He said matter of factly."Just my luck."

"What do you mean, JUST MY LUCK I don't see you getting ready to have a baby!" shouted Draco as he pushed himself off of Ginny.

"Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter, you both need to get yourselves onto a bed…preferably not the same one, and you two can help me deliver these babies!"

"What? Where is Madame Pomfrey?" asked Hermione with a very worried tone in her voice. It wasn't that she didn't trust Snape with her life, he did after all play his very important role in the battle, but he was Snape.

"Ms. Granger, do make yourself useful and get Professor McGonagall so we can proceed."

Hermione made her way to Professor McGonagall's chambers but she did not like the fact that Snape seemed very happy about seeing Harry and Draco in such a vulnerable state…it was all very unsettling. She decided she would do the only thing that was plausible: talk to Professor McGonagall about it before she decided she would just push him out of the room and deliver those babies herself, after all she had read about such things.

---

Professor McGonagall did not hesitate an instant before she used her ward to change herself out of her dressing gown and into appropriate robes; she was half excited and half nervous. Professor McGonagall had explained to Hermione that Madame Pomfrey was unavailable to deliver the children because she was ill, and highly contagious, therefore Professor Dumbledore had sent her to St. Mungo's where she could get the care she needed.

"Misters Potter and Malfoy, please do try to control the screaming, we can hear it through the silencing charms!"

Harry was red faced with sweat dripping from his brow, squeezing Hermione's hand, he had immediately latched onto it the instant she got into the room and it looked as if he was not going to let go of it anytime soon, "HAVE! YOU! EVER! DONE! THIS!?"

"No, but I dare say boy, you have endured far worse pain than this during the battle and with that scar…now just try to calm yourself…" she took a vial of potion that Snape had handed to her."Here boy, for the love of Merlin, drink this."

"NO, going to do this the natural way. I am only going to do this once so I am going to do it right."

"Now is not the time to be a hero Potter. I have spent days brewing that potion, take it and relax. The labor is going to be drawn out as it is due to the spell. I imagine you are going to need all of the strength you can gather for the actual birth!" Snape said as calmly as he could.

Another contraction hit Harry, but he assured himself it was still minor compared to what he was going to face so he opted not to take the potion in a rather rude manner…

Draco was in the bed next to Harry, he however, was not going to pass up the chance to get his hands on the good potions while he could. He took full advantage of Snape's generosity in that department. Draco then decided he should take advantage of this opportunity to goad Potter into one of their now classic debates about something totally irrelevant that would generally just piss Potter off to no end…he had to think about it for a second, then he remembered the prediction Trelawney had made in Ginny's last Divination class and decided that that would be a topic for a few good reasons.

"So, Harry, how are you doing over there…it is really hard to concentrate with all that bellowing."

"Shut up Draco! Some of us are trying to do this like real MEN and not like a nancy git so sod off…"

"You know, even the women take the potions…you shouldn't be able to out do them on this one it is like robbing them of some right… just take the blasted potion so I can discuss more important matters with you." Harry welcomed the distraction that Draco was trying to provide, but he didn't want to distract himself from the process at hand, he wanted to experience every pain filled second, but nodded at Draco anyway while Professors Snape and McGonagall ran their wands over him performing one test or another, trying to determine when the best time to transfigure certain parts would be. So Draco taking the hint began. "Well Trelawney had one of her brilliant predictions…" he paused to see if Harry would respond. " She said that our children were going to get married…"

Harry's jaw dropped… "There is no way any child of mine is going to marry any demon spawn that springs from your…your…what ever the hell it is you have where things of that nature come…OUCH…from…" Harry was now hissing from a very bad contraction that was building in his abdomen, as he breathed the pain away according to Hermione's instructions, he realized something. "This stupid Lamaze or Lemons or whatever this breathing crap is isn't working so let's just stop with the incessant," Harry put on his best Hermione voice ever, "OK Harry, he…he…who…," he regained his own voice, "breathing and why am I saying HE HE WHO? It is a bloody baby boy so I know it is he he baby Potter damn it!"

"Anyways Potter!" chimed in Draco. "Like I said our two sons are going to be married."

"My son is a clone of myself, therefore he will be dating someone much like his mother."

"Does it threaten your sexuality to have a gay son?"

"I don't care if he is gay, he is still not marrying any bloody Malfoy!"

"Well, Trelawney does have the tendency of being right once or twice in a blue moon." Then he turned to Ginny, "I don't see what you women go on about, this isn't so bad!" Famous last words…

----

Many Many Many Hours Later…

Draco was lying in his hospital bed on his side, screaming out in pain, "I WANT MORE PAIN POTION!"

"Mr. Malfoy, I cannot give you another dose for a half an hour," Snape explained coolly. "So, kindly STOP your screaming!"

Meanwhile, Harry was having a fight with Professor McGonagall and Hermione.

"Harry, look, you've known all a long that you've had to do this…"

"I've changed my mind, the baby is just going to have to find another way out!"

"Mr. Potter, I assure you, it will all turn out fine, there are no documented cases of this being permanent, I had Ms. Granger research it extensively."

"No way, get away from me…hey…what do you think…let me go…help…somebody!"

Before Harry knew what was happening, Hermione, Ginny, and good old Professor Snape were holding him down so that Professor McGonagall could transfigure him so that the birth could get underway. This process was however, disrupted, by one Draco Malfoy who wouldn't , as Snape put it so delicately, "stop his blubbering long enough for anyone to get his or her work done."

"Now isn't the time to pull the two of them into an argument…especially when…" before Hermione could finish her sentence, there was a loud shattering noise that came form the other side of the curtain…hundreds of vials of miscellaneous medical potion ingredients shattered all over the floor…wide eyed Hermione finished her sentence, "when they don't have control over their magic right now." Then something else happened, Snape's hair turned green and he grew an amazingly large pair of breasts. Hermione and Professor McGonagall were trying not to laugh and Harry muttered something that sounded like sorry under his breath.

" Turn me back!" Snape demanded.

"I'll turn you back when I get my body back to normal," Harry said through gritted teeth as he braced himself for another contraction. "Oh Merlin, I can't take this anymore…Hermione hand me a vial of potion."

"I can't do that Harry."

"Why the bloody hell not?"

"It's too late, you are going to deliver any second now."

"What do you mean it's too late? It isn't too late, I'm still in pain. Give me the potion."

"There was a window of opportunity and now it is closed," she said as she grabbed his hand and moved his matted hair off of his sweaty forehead."Here, have an ice chip."

"I don't want a fucking ice chip! I want pain potion!"

"I told you, the window closed."

"You are one of the most powerful witches I know. Find a way to open the bloody window."

"Once the window is closed it is closed!" Hermione said sternly as she wiped Harry's face with a damp and cool washcloth.

"I don't care give me the potion, it can't hurt."

"Well it won't help either, so you can't have the potion."

"Please…it hurts."

"You were the one going on about how it was a natural process and how you wanted to feel all the experience had to offer…everyone tried to warn you…but now you are just going to have to be brave, you can do this Harry."

"But why does Draco get potion?"

"Because he has been taking it from the beginning and…oh just concentrate on your breathing…come on now Harry you have to breathe through the pain…focus on your happy place."

"Hermione, I know you are trying to help, but I don't have a happy place right now that doesn't have a big vial of pain killing potion in it!"

"Potter…would you stop moving so I can see how much further you have to go until you are ready to give birth!" cried Professor McGonagall.

"No…get out of there… that hurts…ouch…another contraction…mother of Merlin…"

"Potter its almost over, you have another four centimeters to go before you can push!" she said beaming, she found herself getting more an more excited by the moment. She was then distracted by the screams of Draco… "PLEASE I NEED MORE POTION, PLEASE."

"Mr. Malfoy, you just had a dose of potion not more than five minutes ago. Ms. Weasley you should be mopping off his brow and feeding him ice chips."

"I tried Professor, but he keeps spitting them back at me, and I must say I don't fancy having chunks of ice spit at my face. It smarts!"

"I'd like to see you go through half as much pain as I am going through right now."

"I do Draco, it is called menstruation, you see once a month…"

"Yeah I know all about dealing with you and your moods."

"If you weren't in labor right now I'd use the Bat Bogey Hex on you! You.."

"Enough!" snapped Snape, "I see that you are ready to start pushing. Draco." Snape moved to seat himself so he was in a better position to deliver the baby, but Draco snapped his legs shut.

"What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?"

"I am going to deliver your child."

"Oh no you aren't, you're going to hurt me!"

"I assure you Mr. Malfoy that I am getting rather enough enjoyment by seeing you in such a state without further pain caused at my hand…now Minerva is busy with Potter over there, so you are just going to have to make do!"

Draco looked at him with a steely gaze. "I'll cross my legs and wait for her!"

"Suit yourself, but I may be too busy when you come to your senses!" and then Snape glided away, Minerva had set him right, but his hair was still changing to a putrid shade of green every few minutes, and he didn't want to go near Potter for fear of something worse happening to him.

---

At About the Same Time

Harry….

" Oh Merlin, I swear Hermione, I am never going to make you do this."

"Don't flatter yourself, you can't make me do anything."

"Mr. Potter, I want you to give me a big push while Ms. Granger counts…and don't forget to breathe!"

"What is it with you people and the bloody breathing?"

There was no response from either of the women as the set to work. "One … Two … Three …Four … Don't stop Harry you have to go all the way to Ten … Six … Seven … Eight … Nine … Ten… Good job,Harry."

"No more."

"Well, I am afraid you are going to have to do that quite a few more times before you get to see your beautiful baby."

"Too hard…no more." Hermione kissed his forehead, and then wiped the sweat from his brow with a cool cloth, and helped him sit up so he could push again as soon as the next contraction hit….

--

Draco…

"Ginny, I told you I will wait for….bloody Hell that is a lot of pressure…"

"Draco, you can't wait. Quit being so stubborn."

"I don't have to have a baby! I have to take a crap!"

"No you don't, you have to have the baby. I am going to get Snape!"

"No, just help me to the bathroom."

"No."

"I said…AHHHH…PAIN POTION NOT WORKING…"

"Lie back in that bed and I'll be right back with Professor Snape!"

"No," but the pleading fell onto deaf ears as Ginny turned on her heel to find Snape.

--

Harry…

"Oh Harry, I am so proud of you…you're almost there!"

"Shut Up! I am never going to let that git near me again…if he even thinks of hexing me I am going to…AHH…that bloody burns!"

"Oh, Mr. Potter I can see the head, it is almost over…" said Professor Minerva like she herself was a third year walking into Honeyduke's for the first time, "a full head of the Potter hair I see…"

"C'mon Harry, you've got to give one more good push!" Harry looked at her with determination in his eyes, fear in his heart, and sweat pouring off of his face and then did what he had to do to bring his new baby into the world. He screamed as he felt himself rip and was then overcome by the most horrendous burning sensation ever, but the pain was dulled by the cries of his new born son who was covered in the most disgusting goop he had ever seen, he always thought that babies came out all clean, but no that thing looked like something even the Magical Community would vanquish… "He's, so…slimy and gross" Harry said through a haze, "but he is so…I love him already.." and then Harry laid his head back and let himself sort through his thoughts.

--

Draco…

"Come on Mr. Malfoy, you don't have much further to go."

"No, it can stay like that forever, its head is out and it can eat so it is fine."

"You know that is just ridiculous, now push!'

"I can't."

"Draco, honey," coaxed Ginny, "you can do it. Just a few more pushes and then you can rest and take all the pain potion you want."

"Really?" he asked as an attempt to delay the inevitable

"Come on, I'll help you up."

Draco pulled himself up by the backs of his knees and pushed, "Bloody hell I swear if that arsehole ever comes near me with a his wand again I am going to hex him into the next century!" He paused only to let out a very animalistic scream. "How much longer do I have to do this…it is stretching…it is never going to go back to the way it should!"

"Mr. Malfoy, one more push to get the shoulders out and you should be done!"

"Fine, but you better have that potion standing by."

Ginny dangled a vial in front of his face and he screamed as he brought his baby into the world, screaming and carrying on just as much as his father!

--

The Next Morning…

Draco and Harry were in beds next to each other their babies in between them and their devoted other halves sleeping in their own beds back in the Gryffindor common room…it had been a very long night.

Harry was the first to very carefully get out of bed and waddle his way over to his baby's bassinette. "Hey there…it is too bad I can't give you a name until the Naming Ceremony, Hermione would never forgive me if I broke with tradition."

"Yeah, Ginny would kill me too," came a groggy voice from the other bed.

"Oh well, I guess it gives us time to see how their personalities are so we name them properly."

"I guess."

Fin

A/N: Don' t throw anything at me just yet a sequel (Just The Four of Us)is going to be coming very soon. Keep looking for it! And please let me know what you thought of this.


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